"Don't let it slip on by!"

    In just under thirty days my baby, the youngest of three, will be 19 years old. It is true what they say, you blink and next thing you know the kids are grown adults.

It really felt like I went to sleep and when I woke up she was starting the first day of her senior year. Then came the anticipation and waiting for graduation day. You know on days like that, those monumental events in your life and your child's life, you expect the world to stand still, at least for a day. But it doesn't, the day continues on and before you know it, the baby has moved out and is off to college.
    I remember growing up hearing the adults saying all the time, "If I only knew back then what I know now." I have never felt that way. I wouldn't change a thing. Believe me my life was far from perfect.  Becoming a single mom with two children, with two different fathers, doesn't look good in person or on paper. It's more like a title to one of those nasty "Who's the father" shows.
    I don't live my life in would a, shoud a, could a’s. You know the what  ifs? What if I had done this or said that. Do I regret that my actions hurt others sometimes, made things more difficult for myself and my kids? Absolutely. Without a doubt. I am so happy and content with where my life is now, and how much I have been able to accomplish, not to mention survive, with the help of God, Jesus, and the spirit. I would not change a single second.
    Do I wish I had appreciated the time I had with the kids when they were younger? Yes!
     Do I wish I had told those that are gone like Aunt Ruth, Uncle T, Nick, how much I love them, appreciate them, and how thankful I am that God chose to  put them in my life? DUH!
    I still wouldn't change a thing.
    I would be afraid that even though some things might be a little easier, maybe even better; I could lose those precious times I've had or worst, wouldn't have my children at all. Which would Kill me.

I just might bend but I won't break
As long as I can see your face
I'm not about to give up
Because I heard you say
There's gonna be brighter days
There's gonna be brighter days
I won’t stop, I'll keep my head up
No, I'm not here to stay
There's gonna be brighter days
There's gonna be brighter days

Move By Mercy Me

http://www.klove.com/music/artists/mercyme/songs/move-lyrics.aspx
     That song started playing on K-love just as I was typing this blog.  Promise, no lie.

    That song didn’t exist back in the day, but in my heart I knew that if I could end the day a better person then I was the day before, but not near as good as I could be the next day, I would make it.
    I’m not gonna tell you, slow down, spend more time with your kids, blah, blah, blah.  You know this.  I’m not going to tell you tell those you cherish in your life how much you appreciate them before they’re gone. (For the record, I tried that once.  I called everyone just to tell them I love them and that I was glad they were in my life.  Yea, they thought I was going to commit suicide or was going to die.  I kept getting asked, “are you going to die?”)

    Of course, tell those you love, how you feel.  Do it with meaning and on a regular basis.  Otherwise they’ll get worried.

    I have so many precious memories of my single parent days.  Like junk food Sundays.  After church, the kids and I would go to the corner store buy boudin’, chips, dip, and all that party like food I wouldn’t let them have during the week.  We would go home, lie on the floor in front of the TV. watch movies and munch out.  The kids thought it was great.  Morgan and Sean would get so excited and brag to their friends on how their mom would let them eat junk food sometimes all day long when we had Junk Food Sundays.
     The truth:  Mom was tired from cooking all week and just needed a break, or too broke to take them to Mac D’s.  But it turned out to be one of those precious moments we still talk about.
    All most all of the fond memories my kids have of growing up was because I was either broke, or tired, or something of that nature.  Thank God, he would give me divine inspiration to turn those situations into something the kids would love and enjoy.
    Now that they are older and they start telling stories and say, “remember when we use too…”, I have to confess.  Explain my true motives and how blessed that God turned those times into precious moments.  They tell me they had no idea that things were ever bad.  They didn’t know we were going through hard times.  Thank you God.  It worked.
     I guess what I’m trying to say is: don’t regret, Thank God for the opportunity, don’t express “I should have…”, Thank God for being able to recognize the situation and give you the knowledge to do better in the future.
    All the wrong turns, bumps, pot holes, and “running off the road” that happened in my life, did so for a purpose. 
    I always came out on the other end stronger.
    Now, I see a mountain and I plow straight through the middle.  I refuse to turn around, go around, or just give up. (I won’t break-so don’t bother trying)
    Plow through those mountains.  Create a tunnel through to the other side.  The light will shine again.  Only this time, it will be MUCH brighter. 

     I don’t promise, I know because it is God’s Promise To us.

    Thank God for my mountains.  I’ve dug many a tunnels.  And will make many more I’m sure.