The great destroyer

    

A little girls letter watch the video attached to this link.



  Addiction and alcoholism will come intto a family to create total destruction.  I spent countless nights, weeks, and finally years begging and praying for God to give me back the man I thought I had married.   I gave up on praying for our marriage.

       I found myself trying desperately trying not to hate.   But I hate addiction.  I hate what it's done to my family.  I hate what it has done to my kids.  

      It has been almost a year since a group of "addicts", including my step-daughter, tried to bash my head in while my husband watched with a "gun" pointed at his head.   The physical, mental and emotional effects of that night haunt me to this day.   The same people that were involved in my attack, murdered my grandson's daddy this past December.     

      The evils of addiction and alcoholism are long lasting.   I have always thanked God for not having an addictive personality.  I praise God for bringing my son and daughter into my life, causing me to focus on being a great mom and provider instead of finding the next mind numbing substance.  

     We have lost so much because of addiction.  Our house, my car, all of our money, furniture I had to sell to pay for food and medicine.  Although I lost my job because of my illness, my personal life problems caused by the addicts in my life surely didn't help keep my focus on the days I was able to work.   My life's work was destroyed.  My credit is ruined.  

       I've given up on trying to help my husband and step daughter "see the light".   I've given up on believing I could shake them back to reality.   It's amazing to see how much has changed in my life the past three years.   I've given up on arguing with my husband because he can't remember what he said or did.  I've given up believing I could do anything to save them. 

     I have learned, and accept, that I am truly powerless in being able to change the circumstances in my marriage and life that have resulted because of someone's addiction.  

     If I did not have my faith to cling to, I would not have survived.   But unfortunately, even with great faith, families don't always survive the consequences of this evil.  

      Addiction injures, kills, and destroys people, marriages, families, and communities.  The destruction that alcoholism, and addiction causes is far reaching as well as long lasting.  

      

The link to "A little girls Letter" https://www.facebook.com/xamazingx/videos/245418432465936/

Renee Lyn: And so it begins.... Again

Renee Lyn: And so it begins.... Again:      I started this blog back in 2012, as my youngest child was ready to leave the nest.  When I began writing I can now admit it was anoth...

And so it begins.... Again

     I started this blog back in 2012, as my youngest child was ready to leave the nest.  When I began writing I can now admit it was another attempt on my part to avoid the obvious complications developing in my life and marriage.   My attempt to conceal the troubles I knew were approaching, and to continue with the one flaw I was so good at nurturing, Denial. 

     In the past several years, I made a few tries at writing,  but  reliving even one event proved to be more painful than it's original.  ( just now I realized it was my way of continuing to avoid acknowledging the situation exists)

     To remind you, just in case you had forgotten, or never have read anything I've previously written; my grammar sucks.  I don't speak English well, and I certainly don't write any better than I talk.  One of my flaws That is much easier to accept.  Sad part, English is my first language.  Also,  I tend to "chase rabbits".  I go off topic.  I may even start telling one story and finish with something completely different.  I write just like I talk.  When a thought comes into my mind I immediately share it for fear It may never be heard.  Because if I have to wait for the perfect opportunity to share, I'll forget.  This amazing trait of "forgetting, or not remembering"  has been compounded by certain events in the past two years I will discuss another time. 

     Today, I am not trying to share any life changing words of wisdom or revelations that I've had as a result of the changes in my life.  It's just my way of slowly, very slowly, trying to rejoin the human Race.